Taking a stand early on

ADAM: This really caught me off guard. I knew about the periods of abstinence required for NFP and was worried sex would be infrequent. Sex was an important part of marriage to me and I wanted to be in a marriage where physical love was a priority. I was worried the periods of abstinence would decrease the frequency of sex. I also didn’t have much confidence in NFP because I kept thinking back to my friends who had five kids. But, I was falling in love with Pilar and figured it was worth looking into.I took it one day at a time. We talked about it honestly and listened to each other’s point of view. After reading more about it and hearing from couples who used NFP, I slowly started to have a shift in my way of thinking. I started to understand sex as a selfless act of love that creates a human life rather than just something that would keep our marriage healthy (even though that’s also important). We eventually went to a talk about chastity given by Jason Evert and by the end of the talk I was convinced NFP was for us.

PILAR: I had already been charting my cycle for over a year before I met Adam. I had come to know that NFP was going to be part of my life and I was eager to learn how to do it. I was also glad to gain the insight it gave me about my own health. I had heard stories of women finding out about cysts and hormonal deficiencies from charting their cycles. I had a natural eagerness to start charting. It gave me a sense of empowerment and pride in my femininity.

ADAM: Since Pilar had been charting for over a year before she met me, I felt like I was lagging behind. Pilar had this body of knowledge and I wanted to learn more about it. So, I began keeping a chart of Pilar’s cycle. This involvement really helped me to fully understand NFP. It also allowed me to participate in all of this rather just than be a passive observer.Since charting is a team effort, it helped us to be more comfortable talking about our sexual intimacy. I knew exactly when she was going through certain changes in her body, and she was able to talk to me about how she felt during those times. The lines of communication had broadened and it allowed us to be even more comfortable talking about physical intimacy.

PILAR: That’s one of the many benefits of NFP. Unlike birth control, the responsibility does not rest on one partner; it can be shared equally between spouses. So, yes, Adam did begin to chart my fertility signs during our engagement. At the end of every day he would ask me about my observations and record them in my chart.Now that we’re married, Adam still records my fertility signs at the end of each day. He also sticks the thermometer in my mouth every morning when our alarm goes off. I look on his efforts to help me chart as a daily reminder of his love for me.