The Ripple Effects of NFP
Carlos and Victoria DeBayle are a testament to the fact that NFP has ripple effects into the rest of marriage and that it is a great tool for giving your marriage the best chance for success.
When Carlos and Victoria met in a Catholic group in college, they didn’t hit it off. “I was very involved, he saw me as ‘holier than thou,’” Victoria remembers. He liked to disrupt the meeting with jokes and I would roll my eyes.”
“It wasn’t always silly, sometimes I’d have insightful comments,” Carlos says. “But it would deviate from her agenda completely, so she’d be even more annoyed!”
God’s Plans
Given their differences, friends were shocked when they began dating. “Some people thought we would never last, but God has His plans and after fifteen years of marriage we’ve actually seen we’ve maintained a relationship because of our differences and how we’ve complimented each other,” they say.
Victoria heard of NFP when a young adult minister shared how it had blessed his marriage.“I want that for my marriage,” she remembers thinking. “Nobody ever sat around and talked to me about how great birth control was.”
Victoria and Carlos took an NFP class while engaged, and became fast friends with their teaching couple, who eventually encouraged them to teach too. “Their witness of using NFP was powerful for us,” they say. “They’ve seen our children grow up…It’s been beautiful to have that support.”
After marrying, charting tested their differences — “Me wanting to be a little more in control and on top of things,” Victoria describes. “It was also a challenge… figuring out if mucus is fertile is a learning curve.” She gradually realized Carlos knew her cycle well, even if they approached charting differently.
“At some point, NFP was just something else showing God put us together for a reason,” says Carlos. “He put someone that’s very diligent and follows all the instructions with someone that can help her relax and see the big picture. Through NFP, we’ve come to respect the other’s strengths, and the discussions gave us confidence that we could get through other discussions that emerged.”
Growth
The couple credits NFP not just for relationship growth, but for helping grow their family. “We had trouble conceiving our third child,” shares Victoria. “It took a while and really charting to conceive. If I didn’t know my cycle, I don’t think we would have the kids we have.”
The DeBayles have taught in-person and are now stepping into online teaching. “Every time we’re about to do a teaching event, it’s almost like, ‘Vicky, why’d you sign us up? We have too many things going on,’” says Carlos. “Then after you do it, it rekindles the fire, you remember why you fell in love.”
As CCL celebrates 55 years, the DeBayles point to the couple to couple aspect as key to its success.
“We’ve been so blessed by the couple that taught us and couples we have met through ministry,” they say. “It’s so nice to have that support… not just in NFP but in wanting to give marriages the best chance. NFP is a tool that does that because you have to communicate and learn to trust your partner and respect them for the method to work. That has ripple effects into the rest of marriage.”
Carlos adds, “Imagine a world [without CCL] where we didn’t have a mentor couple saying, ‘This really works.’… I applaud those that started the ministry. We are so glad they did.”
Written by Savanna Duca. Original article can be found in Family Foundations magazine, a quarterly benefit to our benefactors and supporters.
Why is NFP so important? Take the Natural Plan course for a quick intro. Learn Natural Family Planning – as an engaged couple or as a married couple.