Being Pro-Life & NFP
Brenda and Gregg grew up in faithful Catholic homes and heard of NFP early on. Learning the nuts and bolts of it expanded their understanding of being pro-life. The couple’s main concern before taking an NFP class was efficacy. “A lot of these families that practice NFP have a lot of children,” they remember thinking. They add, “But as you get into it, all of a sudden you’re like, ‘oh, it’s the openness factor!’”
“As far as charting, it was a whole new world,” Brenda says about learning the meaning behind the body’s signals during different phases. “I’m an engineer, so I was fascinated by God’s design of the body and how He engineered all that… the amazingness of God, all the little details He puts into something,” adds Greg.
At first, when they married, Brenda wanted to wait a while before having kids, while Gregg hoped for them sooner. But that reversed after the two went on a trip involving heavy walking plus a time change, a combo which threw off Brenda’s cycle. With her period weeks late, she remembers thinking, “I thought this was supposed to work,” about NFP. “I took a pregnancy test and it was negative. Then I was disappointed because, you know, I just can’t make up my mind! Then, all of a sudden, I’m saying, ‘We should have children sooner!’”
Meanwhile, Greg had taken on a full-time master’s degree on weekends, on top of working full-time and traveling. “I was happy she wanted to have kids sooner, but I was overwhelmed,” he remembers. Together, they decided to use NFP until he was approaching graduation. Two months after graduating, they had their first child.
Graces Given
Over years of practicing NFP in marriage, there has been “a blooming of the understanding of the blessings of children, that children are not burdens,” they say. “It’s not easy, but you’re given the grace to do what you need to do. Our culture has a mindset of ‘Why would you want another child?’ This forces you to ask, ‘Why not have another child?’”
That lesson continues to unfold for the couple even after half a dozen children. Brenda describes how, when they had six children, she thought, “I think we’re in a good spot. Then I went to a mother’s retreat and during adoration, I felt a call: ‘You’re not done yet.’”
“It was beautiful,” she describes. “Sometimes you can feel like you’re full and ‘this is what I can handle.’ And we were going through some struggles with health within the family. That baby was such a blessing. He was just a light of joy to our family.”
Sharing the Beauty of Life
Now a teaching couple, the Hemmelgarns share their ever-deepening experience of the beauty of life. They gently encourage their students to consider teaching too, jokingly telling them the best way to really understand NFP is to teach it. “You get good at this really fast!”
Summarizing NFP’s benefits, they call it “marriage insurance” and a “virtue-builder.” They say, “It builds self-control, patience, trust, and charity. It will shape you to be more like God, more loving.” For the Hemmelgarns, becoming immersed in NFP has meant being able to open arms more joyfully to welcome new life, never taking it for granted.
Why is NFP so important? Take the Natural Plan course for a quick intro. Learn Natural Family Planning – as an engaged couple or as a married couple.
Written by Savanna Duca. Original article can be found in Family Foundations magazine, a quarterly benefit to our benefactors and supporters.