Lent, Love, and the Discipline of Life
Each Lent, Christians are invited into a deeper conversion through the practices of fasting, almsgiving, and prayer. Yes, these disciplines are seasonal obligations; they are also ways of forming the heart to love more authentically. For couples who practice Natural Family Planning (NFP) and strive to live a pro-life commitment, these same spiritual habits often become part of daily married life.
Fasting
Fasting teaches us that love sometimes requires restraint. When the Church invites us to fast during Lent, the goal is not deprivation for its own sake but freedom. We learn that our desires do not have to control us. Married couples who practice NFP experience a similar discipline when they observe times of abstinence during the fertile window. This restraint is not a rejection of intimacy but a way of honoring the full meaning of the marital act. It reminds couples that love is not merely about satisfying desire but about self-gift.
Pope John Paul II spoke directly to this connection in his reflections on married love. In a Wednesday audience he explained that periodic continence in marriage is more than a biological strategy:
“This is precisely the virtue of continence (self-mastery), which is seen to be the fundamental condition for the reciprocal language of the body to remain in the truth and for the couple to “defer to one another out of reverence for Christ,” according to the words in Scripture (Eph 5:21).”
—Pope John Paul II, General Audience, August 22, 1984
Like fasting, this discipline trains the heart. It invites spouses to grow in patience, communication, and mutual respect.
Almsgiving
Almsgiving, too, has its parallel in a pro-life way of living. When we give to those in need, we acknowledge that our lives are not centered solely on ourselves. Couples who welcome the possibility of new life practice a similar generosity. Openness to life reflects a willingness to receive children as gifts rather than treating fertility as a problem to be controlled. It expresses a fundamental trust that love expands when it is shared.
Prayer
Prayer is the foundation that makes the other practices meaningful. In Lent, prayer draws us back to the source of love itself. For couples practicing NFP, prayer often becomes essential in moments of discernment and sacrifice. It keeps the focus on God’s design for marriage and family.
Christopher West captures this dynamic well when explaining the Theology of the Body:
“The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is to use another person.”
—Christopher West, Theology of the Body for Beginners
The disciplines of Lent—and the practices of NFP and pro-life living—push back against a culture of use. They remind us that authentic love is always rooted in self-gift.
A Reminder
In this sense, Lent offers a powerful reminder for married couples. The same virtues formed through fasting, generosity, and prayer are the virtues that sustain faithful, life-giving love in marriage. Both paths ultimately lead us toward the same goal: learning how to love as Christ loves.
Written by Martha Haenni, CCL Family Foundations Assistant Editor. Join us as a CCL Patron to support our mission! With a monthly gift of $5 or an annual gift of $60 or more, you will receive our complimentary award-winning magazine, Family Foundations as our thank you for supporting CCL. Find courses for a lifetime of fertility at LearnNFP.org.