Teaching NFP, Sharing Life Experience

“Like all great love stories, we met at a bar,” chuckles Dr. Paul Lobitz about meeting his wife, Sarah. Today, the Colorado couple have seven kids and teach NFP— but it’s been a long journey. Along the way, the bumps have included unplanned pregnancies, periods of animosity, and a conversion that transformed their plan of only having two or three children.

When they first caught each other’s eyes at the Western-themed Sundance Saloon, Paul and Sarah were both in their late 20’s and knew what they wanted in a spouse: someone serious enough to be in their life for good.

After quickly becoming engaged, the couple completed marriage prep at Sarah’s parish— or most of it. The two just skimmed the required online NFP course. “We said, ‘Paul’s a doctor, we don’t need to do that,’ recalls Sarah. “We wanted to have kids right away. Let’s just stop after two or three.”

“I had viewed this as that thing we have to check the box off on so we can get married in the Church,” adds Paul, “Not fully comprehending what it’d be like when I did convert, and that we really didn’t have a great grasp of NFP.”

The First Years

Thinking back to their first years of marriage from their current vantage point, Sarah and Paul remember feeling that something was missing. Early on, “There were many more nights of animosity, of something not clicking right in our marriage,” describes Paul. “I had a lot of time to contemplate, ‘Why is it not working right?’ I didn’t get the answer until 18-24 months later when I started RCIA.”

Paul’s conversion to Catholicism, and the couple experiencing a conversion of heart together, led them to decide they could no longer set aside the Church’s teaching on NFP.

Paul reflects, “I credit that conversion experience a lot toward understanding what openness to life means and how that relates to trusting your spouse. The fact that that trust was installed in our marriage has made a huge difference. Every day is not all peaches and roses, but most of our days are very happy.”

“During RCIA we got pregnant with our third child,” he continues. “We wouldn’t change anything that’s happened since. After that it was a no-brainer. ‘There is no contraception in our household, no barrier between you and me. We will be open completely.’”

“This was challenging,” reflects Sarah. “Our extended families had never practiced NFP so they couldn’t support us in that way. But we have an amazing group of friends that we can call on for questions and now we’re becoming that couple that people can call on.”

When they mentor newly engaged couples these days, they bring their life experience to the table, sharing where they started and that change is possible.

“We started our marriage contracepting,” Sarah says. “And then we phased into NFP and trusting each other and God and have seen the growth in our relationship. We know what the other side feels like, that empty feeling that you’re not sure what it is.”

Besides mentoring couples, Paul and Sarah are passing forward the trend of NFP awareness by witnessing to their own children.

It’s such a gift for everybody to bring a new child into the family,” says Sarah, “but especially for your older kids. Our oldest son comes home from a hard day at school, practice, or work, and he just wants to hold the baby. There’s nothing that can compare to that.”

We are very excited to announce that we have a new Teacher Training Session starting soon. We are open to receiving applications from students and promoters who are interested in teaching NFP to other couples. Also, we have a new opportunity for individuals to teach NFP as a paid FSI Instructor. Find out more at www.ccli.org/teach