The Importance of Christian Community
Everyone Needs a Jason and Linda in Their Lives
When my husband and I became engaged over 26 years ago, we only knew a few couples who were interested in learning and using NFP like we were. There we were, a young couple striving to live out the call to generosity of life and responsible parenthood. We had no community to turn to for support, save for one couple, Jason and Linda. Jason and Linda fast became dear friends and significant mentors for us. They were married a few years before us and had been using NFP longer than we had.
Our times together were filled with typical fun, frequented with good conversations. We challenged each other, delving into various topics which some may consider taboo to discuss today. Topics such as marriage, love, family, and faith, which are, in fact, fundamental to our very being. And as time has marched on, bringing with it children and gray hair (in that order), our friendship continues to grow, regardless of time or distance.
I’ve often thought about how our paths crossed all those years ago, and I certainly count our friendship as one of the greatest blessings my husband and I could have received.
A Blessing
And it’s no wonder that this friendship would be a blessing from God. In Matthew 18:20, Jesus shares, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” As human beings, made in the image and likeness of God, we are meant to live like Him. And God Himself is a community, a Triune God. And so we’re not meant to live lives of isolation, but lives lived for and with others.
When this is juxtaposed to current cultural trends, we see that, despite the predominance of social media, we’re not very social at all, and more people are experiencing isolation and loneliness now than ever before. We’ve inherited from our frontier-blazing, adventurous ancestors the American values of self-reliance and independence. Yet without an equally strong sense of community, we become off-balance, and end up living lives resembling Eric Carmen’s 70’s hit “All By Myself” playing on repeat.
So, what ought we do? Here are a few thoughts on building a greater sense of community.
1. Living in community is synonymous with sacrifice.
The word community itself is derived from the Latin meaning together in service. We don’t live in community by ourselves. It just doesn’t make sense. Being in communion with others demands that we serve the other, we consider their needs above our own, that we work towards the greater good of the group. And that sounds a lot like sacrifice. It sounds a lot like love. Isn’t that how we’re called to live in marriage? As family? Yet, living sacrificially for others doesn’t just end once we leave our homes. We’re called to live in community with everyone around us in one way or another.
As the Catholic Catechism states:
“All men are called to the same end: God himself. There is a certain resemblance between the unity of the divine persons and the fraternity that men are to establish among themselves in truth and love. Love of neighbor is inseparable from love for God.
The human person needs to live in society. Society is not for him an extraneous addition but a requirement of his nature. Through the exchange with others, mutual service and dialogue with his brethren, man develops his potential; he thus responds to his vocation.” Catechism of the Catholic Church 1878-1879
In sacrificing for our spouse, our family, our neighbors, and our community, we fulfill our calling, our vocation, to live as our Trinitarian God lives, as a communion of persons.
2. Community is meant to be lived in reality, not virtually.
We are embodied spirits, and so what we do with our bodies shapes our souls, and vice versa. Yet through technology we are increasingly living our lives in a disembodied way, where our physical selves are no longer engaging the physical world. We encounter more “friends” through social media than we do in person. Our inmost thoughts and opinions are freely shared with virtual strangers online yet we struggle to identify our significant other’s favorite color or food. We sit staring at a screen for hours while oblivious to the beauty of creation just outside our windows. It seems social media has only brought solitude to our lives.
Now I’m not advocating a return to the days of yore before the internet, but rather we be very intentional about engaging the real world rather than a virtual one. Silence your smartphone, and shut down your computer. Real, genuine communities are formed in reality.
3. Community is the antidote.
If loneliness and isolation have become burdens on our hearts, then being with others is the remedy. Since first befriending Jason and Linda all those years ago, my husband and I have been blessed as our circle of friends has continued to grow. Over the years, through our own efforts and the workings of the Holy Spirit, we have become surrounded by a beautiful community of friends, all sharing the same goal of heaven, focusing on the values of faith, family, and marriage. This community is supporting when times are tough, gently nudging when we need to live more authentically Christian lives and rejoicing in life’s celebrations. Christian community enables us to live more fulfilling lives.
So how should we respond? The short answer? Seek out a Jason and Linda for your lives. Spend time together talking, praying, laughing, and supporting each other. Be receptive to the promptings of the Holy Spirit in your relationships. Don’t be afraid to introduce yourself to your neighbors, the people sitting behind you at church, or the new coworker. And perhaps after twenty years of deep friendship you’ll look back on this beautiful community you’ve formed and share as CS Lewis did, in regard to his friends, the Inklings, “Is any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a good fire?”
Originally published in Family Foundations magazine, a publication sent to patrons of Couple to Couple League.