God’s Way for Marriage
Stephen and Girley learned about NFP in their marriage prep classes in both the Philippines and the US. Although they were both cradle Catholics, by the time they married, they had stopped practicing their faith. “I wanted to get married in the Church. But, I was stubborn and wanted the freedom to do things my way,” Girley claimed.
After marriage, they struggled with infertility and Girley believed that IVF was the only way to achieve a pregnancy. They started with scheduling the initial appointment although Stephen “was not thrilled about it.” Girley, feeling the desire to pray and talk to God about her infertility, went to adoration. There she had “a divine inspiration.” She shares, “I felt Jesus asking me ‘Why aren’t you following my will?’”
They did not go to that first appointment and reconsidered the treatment altogether. According to Stephen, this led them both “on a journey back to faith. I didn’t want to be mediocre in my faith. I wanted to grow in knowledge of the bible and in my relationship with Jesus. Then I began to use all the resources available online. This journey has been a chance to ‘dig in’ and learn and grow in my faith.”
Freely Surrendered
Girley originally didn’t think IVF was wrong, but after reflecting on the question during adoration, she realized she needed to surrender her will to God. After deciding to not use IVF in their marriage, she felt like God directed them to Catholic options. They worked with a Creighton instructor and found a CCL NFP class offered at their church.
While they still have no children, they have freely surrendered, knowing they are now doing the right thing for their marriage. They have gained peace in being able to share their knowledge with another infertile couple and are growing in faith together: visiting shrines and churches, going to a healing mass, and listening to the Bible and Catechism in a Year podcasts.
Stephen has advice to other couples experiencing infertility in their marriage. “Be rooted in prayer and have a good support system of like-minded people to take advice from. Don’t over-think and pray.” From Girley, “Freely surrender your will to God’s. His plans are the best plans for us.”
Originally published in Family Foundations magazine, a publication sent to patrons of Couple to Couple League.