3 truly scary things about NFP

It’s that spooktacular time of year and scary things are in the air. There’s bats and pumpkins and costumes for the weak-hearted, but far more terrifying things for those foolish enough to risk it. Nothing is more sinister than the dark, demanding world of natural family planning. If you’re brave enough, read on to find the top three reasons to beware NFP! Turn back now, or you could…

The horror!

Once you discover the intricate workings of the human body and the delicate balance that makes fertility possible, you may wake up one frightful morning to discover you…like it. Beware! This is the point of no return! From there, you’ll only strive to understand your own body and soul even more deeply until you discover its terrible and inescapable dignity.

The only thing more bloodcurdling than knowing and embracing your own body and soul is knowing and embracing the body and soul of your spouse. Danger lies ahead; turn back! This level of vulnerability with a flesh-and-blood human could mean intense feelings of intimacy and — I hardly dare speak it — joy.

No! Please, anything but that! Once the grim reality of NFP has settled into your home and extended its roots deep into your heart, there’s no telling what you’ll be tempted to explore next. The dignity of human life? The concept of Divine Mercy? The EUCHARIST?! You may even find yourself dabbling in unpredictable things like corporal works of mercy or…novenas.

No, no, fellow companion. Best to stay out. Don’t expose yourself to such terrible power. The discomfort, growth and vulnerability is far too much to risk. Keep your eyes closed, your head down and stay comfortable, or else the world of NFP could change your entire life….if you dare!

— Forest Hempen
Marketing and Communications Associate