Humanae Vitae Fortifies my Marriage

Humanae Vitae Giving Day

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By Jenna Hines

Do you know what creates the tightest bonds? A common goal. Or a common enemy, if you will. My husband and I are on the same team fighting the same fight – and no, the opponent is not natural family planning. Instead, that is our weapon.

Every single day we must choose to stand together and fight off the culture of death in the media, in the people we know and in ourselves. We have to humble ourselves when we find out we are pregnant with our fourth after broadcasting that we wanted to take a break from having kids for a few more months. We come up with loving answers when people ask us what kind of birth control we use. We turn off the TV when we are faced with a program that uses sex in irresponsible ways. We teach our kids that their bodies are specially made. And we abstain from the marital act during times when we know we are not ready for another life in our house.

That last part is the hardest. It is on those days where our faith is tested most. On those days, you might find us muttering about things not being fair or sulking because we can’t do exactly what we want to do when we want to do it – much like our kids do to us.

Other times, you might find us bonding in other ways. We have learned to engage in quality time together that adds SPICE to our marriage. (S)piritually, we pray together and for one another. (P)hysically, we go outside for walks, ride bikes, jump on trampolines and play. (I)ntellectually, we talk about ideas, the news and dreams for the future. (C)reatively, we work on projects together to improve the house or we work side by side on our latest hobbies and crafts. (E)motionally, we share our feelings about our children, each other, jobs, fears and whatever else in on our minds. By intentionally making time for these components in our relationship, we are consciously taking a stand against a culture that says we are in control at every moment.

Living Humane Vitae is far from easy and kumbaya, but we’ve found ways to live it out in our marriage. In fact, we don’t just live it out in our marriage; we use it to fight for our marriage.

Jenna Hines and her husband, Mike, live in Michigan and have three children, Ellen, Sam and Theo. She blogs at

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