Matt & Mary
Mary: Like most engaged couples, we talked about how many children we might have and when we might begin our family. Since we both came from relatively large families by today’s standards, having children was not something we were afraid of. Matt is the oldest of six children and I’m the oldest of eight children. Our youngest siblings are quite a bit younger than us. So, we were used to taking care of children. For Matt, as he was growing up, his brothers were his best friends; they are still quite close today. When it came time to raise a family, we had hoped that we would be able to give our children the gift of siblings as our parents had done for us. At the same time, we definitely had concerns about being responsible parents.
Matt: We were required to take an NFP course as part of our marriage preparations. We didn’t know what to expect, but were eager to learn more about a morally-acceptable method of family planning. We were taught CCL’s Sympto-Thermal Method and gained a good understanding of how to interpret the signs of fertility and use that information to postpone or achieve pregnancy.”
Mary: Being an engineer, I was sort of into analyzing the fertility signs and determining what phase of the cycle I was in. As we learned about the inner workings of the female fertility cycle, we also gained an even greater appreciation for how “fearfully and wonderfully” God has made us. One of the things we learned in those classes that we may never have been exposed to otherwise was the concept of natural mothering and total breastfeeding. Neither of our mothers breastfed. What we learned in the NFP classes we took before getting married helped us with our decision to breastfeed our children when they arrived.
Matt: Although we gained quite a bit of knowledge about NFP, before we were married we had already decided not to postpone pregnancy. Shortly after our honeymoon, our first child was conceived. Over the course of the next few years, he was given the gift of two siblings. We had some challenges, but overall our young family was doing great.
Mary: Then, I discovered that I haves Lupus. We were referred to one of the best rheumatologists in the area and were immediately pleased with this doctor’s willingness to answer our questions and his respect for our decision to only use NFP if it were necessary for me to not become pregnant. Instead of saying that I should never become pregnant again, he strongly advised that we should postpone any further pregnancies for at least a year to give him an opportunity to monitor my situation and to establish a baseline of my condition. That is when we got serious about our practice of NFP.
Matt: Through this turn of events, NFP went from being just a morally acceptable method of birth regulation to a real blessing in our life. After a year of observation, fortunately the Lupus did not exhibit any signs of attacking Mary’s body as it can for some people who are diagnosed with the disease. In addition, the pain she had been experiencing had subsided. The rheumatologist felt that Mary was healthy enough to have more children. We have since been blessed with two more children. The last two pregnancies and corresponding postpartum periods were much more physically challenging than the first three. Since our last child was born, Mary began experiencing a significant amount of joint pain. To help manage the pain, she has been on medication that can have serious side effects, especially if I were to become pregnant. People often question the effectiveness of NFP. Based on our experience, the method is highly reliable.
Mary: Practicing NFP has its challenges, especially during longer periods of abstinence. However, we feel that the sacrifices we make during these times are opportunities for demonstrating sacrificial love. We truly believe NFP to be a great blessing in our life. It is our hope that all couples will learn about NFP and put it into practice in their marriages.
