Jack & Judy

Jack: The two of us met through mutual friends at a nursing /medical student party held at a popular campus hangout known as the Varsity Club, while attending Ohio State University. We went out after a chance meeting at another party. There were many things that I found very attractive about Judy, but one of the more important attractions for me was that she also shared an interest in the pro-life movement. Through our respective medical classes/training we had come to realize that life truly began at the moment of conception.

Judy: I was 12 years old when abortion was legalized. My youngest brother was born prematurely a month after that Supreme Court decision. I realized that my brother could have been legally aborted at the same age at which he was born prematurely. We were so worried that he wouldn’t live as doctors and staff worked to correct his problems. It was a powerful learning experience.

While I was at Ohio State, I took a pharmacology class my junior year. During the lecture on chemical contraception, I learned that the pill worked by disrupting the normal balance of hormones in a woman’s body. When my professor stated that one of the mechanisms of action of the pill was to change the lining of the uterus so that a newly-conceived baby couldn’t implant, someone asked if that was an early abortion. He unhesitatingly said “yes.” I knew I would never take the pill.

Jack: In 1982, at the beginning of my clinical rotations, I had the opportunity to work with a very interesting family physician in rural Kentucky. This physician was a real doctor who cared about his patients and community, yet wasn’t afraid to incorporate his faith into his medical practice when appropriate. He was not afraid to embrace the church’s teachings on marriage into his own marriage and his medical practice. He and his wife were open to children (having six biological children and four foster kids). They lived simply, and donated generously. He did not prescribe contraception or IUD’s, but rather promoted NFP. This was a novel concept and an important seed had been planted which I began to share with Judy. God was proposing a better way.

We were married at St Peter’s Church in Lorain, Ohio, but were not yet ready to fully embrace what God was proposing. During Pre-Cana classes, NFP was not emphasized; rather we were encouraged to “follow our conscience” and so we contracepted (using barrier methods) during our honeymoon. (It is ironic that Judy was conceived during her parents' honeymoon. I am so grateful that they were open to life from the very beginning!) We were blessed with the conception of our first daughter three months into our marriage.

Following the birth of our second daughter we became open to a deeper conversion. Professionally, I began to promote NFP to my patients while still prescribing hormonal contraceptives and assisting at tubal sterilizations. I was afraid to fully embrace the Catholic Church’s teaching on love and marriage in my practice for fear of losing patients or being ridiculed by medical colleagues. But God kept gently proposing a different way through others. In 1990, after a rather “interesting encounter” with a Norplant drug salesperson, I finally decided to stop prescribing contraceptives in my medical practice. I did take heat for this decision and as expected, lost some patients over this issue. But, I also gained others just because of my NFP-only position.

Judy: Incorporating NFP into our marriage has allowed us to gain a better and more mature understanding of the dignity of both man and woman. We have learned that being created in the image and likeness of God, we are called to love and to be loved. Love is not a 50/50 split of duties within a marriage, but rather a total and complete gift of self. We need to be willing to give regardless of the cost just as Christ gave Himself completely for the Church. NFP has also added another dimension to our marriage: courtship and dating are still very fun and important parts of our relationship. As John Paul II often stated, the Church proposes and never imposes. NFP is wonderful way to strengthen your marriage. God, in His mercy, remained ever patient with us despite our stubbornness and narrow mindedness. We would never go back no matter what the cost.