I was quite saddened to read in your March-April issue how a gift like NFP could be misapplied and cause so much heartache.

To "Resentful Man": Not knowing your precise circumstances, the suggestion below takes a great deal of courage to even offer, and may take even more courage to implement. I would suggest that, unless you and your wife have a dire need to avoid pregnancy, you consider having sexual relations during Phase II. It appears that, unfortunately, NFP may have become for you "Catholic birth control." However, it is much more than that — it is meant to motivate spiritual discernment and enhance (not destroy!) a marital relationship.

In our case, we are much set upon by unconventional (and often conflicting) work schedules, fatigue, and currently a six-month old baby — you can imagine that our time together for "anything" is slim at best! If one added in Rule C (or whatever you use) constraints, we would probably be completely miserable. So yes, we consider with every event that another child may result, and we make the decision (generally to make love anyway). Only once when we've done this have we conceived a child — remember that, even at peak fertility, there tends to be only slightly better than 2/3 chance. In addition, there's a whole new dimension of feeling when you realize that expressing your love for each other may result in a new life.

We pray that you find a good resolution to your difficulties!