CCL printed the following Readers' Exchange Question in the March-April 2005 issue of Family Foundations and asked our membership for their replies. Some replies were printed in the May-June 2005 issue, but we have posted all of them here.

When my husband and I announced our fifth pregnancy, the response from friends and family was less than enthusiastic. Of course, people asked, “Did you intend this?” “Was it a surprise (or worse, a mistake)?” “Are you really happy about it?”

Sadly, when we informed the same family members and friends about our pregnancy loss, the comments were worse. “Oh, this is God’s way of telling you your body is too old.” (I’m 36.) “It wasn’t meant to be.” “There was something wrong with the baby.” And my personal favorite: “No one has large families anymore anyway.”

My question to CCL members is: How have you handled these comments?

— N.B.

My husband and I are expecting our ninth baby and have experienced three miscarriages as well ...

Let me say, first of all, that i'm very sorry for your loss and for the insensitive comments you've received ...

Sadly, like you, I am a mother who experienced a miscarriage ...

We, too, suffered a miscarriage with our fifth child ...

I have a tiny Christmas ornament that hangs on our Christmas tree each year ...

First things first: CONGRATULATIONS on the gift of your fifth child ...

Reading the question about comments from friends or family after a miscarriage ...

We are a homeschooling family and have been blessed with six children.

I am in Africa where large families have been quite traditional until lately ...