Family Foundations Plus
Issue No. 4, December 2011
It’s hard to believe that December is here, so before all of the busyness fully engulfs me I want to take a moment to wish you and your family a blessed Advent season, and a very Merry Christmas! I hope you enjoy Kathleen Basi’s article below on “reclaiming Advent.”
I’ve also decided to share a Q & A from the magazine’s archives that I know addresses a common situation for all of us. If you have an NFP-related question for a future issue, please click on my name below to email it to me.
Consider financial support of our work
December is also known for year-end charitable giving, and I encourage you to consider a gift to CCL at this time. Funds are very tight for us right now, mainly due to the protracted bad economy, but also because teaching activity is traditionally lower in the summer and autumn months. We are hoping things pick up as normal this winter, but want you to know that any extra gift you can send us now is very needed.
How about a resolution for the New Year to support our work? One-time gifts are always appreciated, or think about a super-easy monthly electronic donation that you just set up once and it happens on auto-pilot (but can be changed or modified at any time)!
All of the ways you can financially help further the CCL ministry are outlined here: Give to CCL!
Thank you, and may God bless you and your families.
Ann Gundlach, Editor
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In the mail SOON!
The January-February 2012 issue of Family Foundations is our annual Engaged Issue! We’ve compiled articles that will help and inspire not only those engaged and newly married, but also those married for many years.
- A look at newlywed finances
- Adjusting to each other’s temperaments
- Straight talk from Archbishop Sheehan on cohabitation
- An invitation to the NFP world for the guys, from a distinctly male perspective
- Embracing being in the minority by using NFP
... and enjoy one mom's encouragement to “grin and bare it” in this SNEAK PEEK!
Our award-winning Family Foundations is sent to all CCL members. If you don't already receive it, we ask you to consider Becoming a member.
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Ask Father
Confront others with love
By Fr. Randall Moreau
-- From the Family Foundations archives
Q. What is our responsibility as Catholics in responding to others’ offhand comments about their sterilizations, contraception, or abortions?
A. We have a moral obligation as Christians to defend the truth. The question then becomes: How and when will we defend the truth?
In the first place, we must always speak the truth in love. In his theology of the human person, Pope John Paul II has taught us that we must always treat every human person with love. Contrary to popular opinion, loving others does not mean compromising the truth just to get along or to be liked or to not offend someone who is living in sin. Loving them, according to Jesus and his Church, is to speak the truth in love and to help them out of their sinful state or to renounce their false beliefs.
When we talk to someone who either practices or defends the practices mentioned in the question, it is advisable to know well and be able to articulate well the Church’s teaching and the reasons for it. So read and research Church teaching on issues you may need to discuss with others. After you do your research, it might be good to talk to a friend who agrees with you and try your arguments on him; get some constructive feedback. Once you are confident that you can defend the truth well, approach the person or persons in private and try to persuade them of the truth.
Sometimes situations arise that are not private. We may be in a group of people, perhaps at a meeting or in a social situation, and we are called upon to speak the truth -- right then and there. Take a deep breath and say a quick prayer to the Holy Spirit to help you and to speak through you. Then, with kindness and patience and without condemning the person who may be committing the action, tell the person or group the truth about the immorality of the action and the reasons it is against God's truth.
They may not accept your answers, and you may be even accused of being judgmental. This, of course, is nonsense if you only condemned the action and not the person. Sure, you are judging; you are judging an action to be seriously sinful because the Church does so, not because you are smarter or holier than anyone. Many of us become frustrated and even angry when we clearly explain the truth and others do not accept it. Please, fight the temptation to become upset and ask God for the grace to be at peace.
It is sometimes difficult to know when to respond to such comments. Pray for the virtue of prudence. Ask yourself if you are being tempted to avoid responding out of fear or because you really believe that the time is not appropriate. If it is not the proper time for such a discussion, look for or create the right time later.
Keep in mind that we all share in the prophetic mission of Christ by virtue of our Baptism, and as such we are obliged to share our faith with others. Let’s strive to do it prudently, at the proper time and place, and in the proper way -- with love.
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Reclaiming Advent
by Kathleen M.Basi
I used to hate December. I wanted Advent to be a time of breathless beauty and holiness, but somehow it never turned out that way. While the media rhapsodized about children and magic and sentimental memories, I gnashed my teeth. Blow-up snow globes, “holiday” trees, Frosty the Snowman? Tacky commercial Christmas was steamrolling right over Advent! I wanted to ban Santa Claus altogether.
The December before our oldest child turned three, my husband took me gently by both elbows and looked deeply in my eyes. “Honey,” he said, “you have to make peace with Santa.”
I took a deep breath and started brainstorming. And you know what? I soon realized that that secular Christmas isn’t all bad. As Ecclesiastes says, there is a time for everything under the sun — even the frivolity of the commercial holiday. The trick is to not to let it overwhelm the holy hush that is Advent. But there’s so much to do during Advent. How do you find that balance?
My solution was to “reclaim Advent,” an idea that resulted in a book now available from Liguori Publications. Each year, we use the Jesse Tree and Advent wreath in the evenings, but the real key is the Advent calendar. Instead of filling it with candy or matchbox cars, we use it to organize daily activities, both sacred and secular.
Generally, people’s first reaction is skepticism. Who can possibly cram more busy work into this season?
But we don’t put extra things into the calendar — we use it to organize the things we have to do anyway. Always before, I sprinted through Advent without a plan, trying and failing to keep up. Planning out the to-do list and sharing it with my family really eases the stress. It breaks down an overwhelming list into manageable chunks.
I start by putting in the big time suckers — like cookie baking. (Fun, especially for the kids, but really draining!) Once the biggies are appropriately spread out, I fill in with other things, like opportunities for service and spiritual growth we might not be able to take advantage of if we hadn’t planned it out. It takes some moving things around to get everything in place, but I’ve found that it’s well worth the effort.
Of course, it’s always going to be busy, and some years are more successful than others. Last year, for instance, book promotion added a whole new layer of craziness. I’ll be honest: I wasn’t prepared for it. Still, advance planning makes it possible to include my young children in activities that reinforce important lessons about faith and life in general: balance, moderation, service to others, and most importantly, preparing our hearts for the coming of Christ.
— Kathleen Basi is a stay-at-home mom, freelance writer, flute and voice teacher, liturgical composer, choir director, NFP teacher, scrapbooker, sometime-chef and buddy disability rights activist. She puts her juggling skills on display at www.kathleenbasi.com, where you can also see a photo of new baby Michael, born last week.
